Has your marriage broken down? Build effective communication skills during the 2024/25 holidays and communicate effectively with nonverbal communication.
Are you going to ignore arguments or shut down during this holiday period? Poor communication can cause massive problems. Effective communication skills and active listening are essential. Inactivity due to bad weather or feeling flat are challenging to handle.
Your sense of well-being is important. Keep yourself healthy and hydrated, and do your best to keep your energy levels up. Get some exercise, and avoid long stints indoors. Avoid eating fried foods, junk food, sweets, and alcohol to deal with pressure. It will just do the opposite.
Key takeaways
Parenting plans and court orders are crucial parts of the co-parenting relationship.
There are many effective co-parenting apps that can help structure your arrangements.
Nonverbal communication is as important as verbal communication.
Workplace communication skills are transferable to co-parenting arrangements.
Effective communication is key
One of our parents recently experienced a stressful divorce, and the kids were caught up in the split. For anonymity reasons, let’s call this parent Anthony. Anthony emailed our office six months later, thanking our office for recommending an app for an improved communication style.
Anthony’s email read something like this:
“Hi, Luke and the Shanahan Family Law team. I just wanted to thank you for recommending the free not-for-profit apps, The Human Improvement Project “, “In Love while Parenting” and “The Happy Child App”. I’m not usually one for these kinds of apps, but I have to say they have brought so much love to my family and daughter. Thanks for recommending such a great resource. Regards, Anthony (one happy parent).”
We are so thankful to Anthony for reaching out and are thrilled the app helped him communicate quickly.
Sometimes, all it takes is a shift in the way you think. Parenting apps can give you great ideas to correspond quickly using the correct body language. If you haven’t already downloaded the app, give it a go here.
The holidays are here. For some parents, it means planning new festivities, managing in-laws, and buying presents. After a marriage breakdown, even just thinking about the holiday period can cause extreme grief and stress leading up to these events.
Holidays occur every year, making it crucial to have good parenting arrangements. Having one will prevent added stress during these holiday periods. This is even more important in today’s climate.
Parenting Plans or Consent Orders for holidays
So, where do you begin? You may have put parenting arrangements in place when getting a divorce order. Parents with consent orders from the family court or parenting plans should review them when disputes arise. It is important to remember that the written agreement is not for your benefit but for the children’s benefit. The order or plan will determine who the children will spend time with. It will likely detail where the changeovers will occur and the required level of effective communication between a parent and the children.
The upcoming holiday period may result in further arguments between the two people children love the most. Children often carry the weight of their parent’s arguments on their shoulders. While they may laugh and carry on, deep down, they may be experiencing some fear or guilt.
Parenting orders and plans are the foundation of a good co-parenting relationship. Remember that they are being implemented as a tool to successfully co-parent and move forward with the child’s best interests in mind.
Most orders or plans include language like:
“As agreed between the parents in writing, failing which…” or
“Unless otherwise agreed between the parents.”
When your order or plan includes this line, you have some flexibility to develop proper alternative arrangements. You must follow the order or plan if there aren’t any alternatives.
Parenting arrangements for the 2024/25 Christmas holidays
Another good way to manage this period is to use an effective co-parenting app to communicate concisely. (A parent recommended the Coparenta App to us). Or read this in-depth review on the best co-parenting apps. They can take the stress out of having to organise your time over such a busy holiday period. Let’s face it, these times should be fun. If anything will make it easier, then why not try them?
Communicate effectively over these Sunshine Coast holidays
The best way to communicate effectively is to give the other parent sufficient notice, especially if you request a change to the order or plan. Adopting a more flexible communication approach is helpful. Most importantly, though, it is respecting the other parent’s decisions.
When the other parent declines your change request, you must respect any existing order or plan. While it is not easy to hear ‘no’, it is vital to respect the current agreement. If this agreement is no longer practical, we recommend contacting our Sunshine Coast Shanahan Family Law office.
Talking about family traditions
Before separation or divorce, children became accustomed to spending the holidays together as a family. Can you co-parent at a level where you can communicate effectively about the children? If you can bring up past holidays, try discussing how the family celebrated in previous years and how you can continue the tradition. Consider any views the children expressed and how much weight you place on those views.
Parenting applications like Our Family Wizard and calendar applications like Time Tree help you communicate effectively and understand each other.
At Shanahan Family Law, we can assist you with compliance. We can prepare varying court orders, work through an existing agreement, or prepare a new co-parenting agreement. It’s easy for us, and we like to do it for you. We want to make the transition as seamless as possible. You can learn more about the services we provide here.
Five practical communication tips for the holidays
Consider your body language
All relationships need effective communication skills, whether romantic, co-parenting or a relationship with your children. Remember that non-verbal communication skills is as important as what you say. The difference between positive body language and negative body language is enormous.
Facial expressions and maintaining eye contact are as important as the right words. Consider body language when communicating with your co-parent.
As far as possible, your children need to see and hear that you can co-parent effectively and with respect.
These practical tips will assist you with effective communication skills with the co-parent to avoid conflict or confusion:
Do not discuss adult matters or plans in front of your children.
Do not use your children as messengers.
Keep your children's best interests at the forefront of your mind.
When co-parenting, remember that you are doing this for the well-being of your children.
Start learning more and download an app like the Human Improvement Project.
Although these five (5) tips may appear simple, they go a long way toward cementing a positive path forward and helping you avoid pitfalls in the future. Practical communication skills lead to a happy partnership.
Appropriate communication skills
After divorce, your personal relationship becomes more formal. Think of it as a business relationship. It is useful to employ elements of effective workplace communication in your personal life, such as active listening, clear messaging, and being mindful of body language. Practicing effective communication can help maintain a respectful and cooperative dynamic.
Concise language
Communicate clearly and precisely through effective communication strategies, including active listening and body language. When developing schedules, don’t leave any room for ambiguity. Use tools like co-parenting apps to ensure you’re both on the same page with plans and expectations.Respectful tone
Workplace communication prioritises collaboration. Good co-parenting is based on similar cooperation. Effective communication, including active listening, body language, and other forms of nonverbal communication, plays a key role. A respectful and professional tone helps co-parents focus on important issues without letting emotions cloud their judgment.
Conflict resolution
Conflict can arise in co-parenting. Good conflict resolution strategies can mitigate this. One strategy involves setting up a structured discussion where both parents can voice their concerns and practice effective communication, including active listening and being mindful of body language.
Avoiding negative body language, such as crossed arms or eye-rolling, can help maintain a respectful tone. If the conflict escalates, a professional mediator can provide support to facilitate a productive compromise.
Set boundaries
Set rules that both parents are willing to follow. It may not be appropriate to let discussions get too personal. Stick to talking about parenting-related matters. Employ effective communication strategies, including active listening and emotional intelligence, to ensure conversations remain productive. Drawing from effective workplace communication, consider which communication channels are best. Phone calls may be reserved for emergencies, while other discussions could be kept to emails to maintain clarity and professionalism.
Local Sunshine Coast destinations bound to make you happy
Looking after yourself and staying positive and focused are crucial to successful co-parenting. Being an effective communicator, including maintaining good communication through nonverbal cues like eye contact, can strengthen co-parenting relationships. We live in such a beautiful place, the Sunshine Coast and it has so much to offer. Local Sunshine Coast destinations are bound to make you happy and provide opportunities to recharge and stay focused.
We repeatedly say if you’re going to have a difficult day, the Sunshine Coast is the best place to be. There are many places to explore, from Noosa to Maroochydore, Buderim, Caloundra and everything in between. Visit places like the following:
Buderim Forest Waterfalls. Buderim Forest Park is one of the Sunshine Coast’s most picturesque locations. Its hidden gem, Buderim Falls, offers a wonderful day out and an opportunity to practice active listening and effective communication with loved ones. Maintaining eye contact and being mindful of facial expressions can help foster meaningful connections while enjoying the natural beauty of this serene destination.
Cotton Tree is a scenic beachfront location in Maroochydore. It offers shopping, play areas for the kids, and barbecues for a family outing.
Maroochydore Sunshine Plaza High Ropes Course. Next Level High Ropes is Australia’s highest adventure park. There are seven difficulty levels and 145 aerial challenges over Cornmeal Creek.
Hastings Street, Noosa, is one of the Sunshine Coast’s most famous spots. Located on an award-winning beach, it boasts wonderful boutique shopping and world-class cafes.
No matter what you have planned, going outside is good for the mind, body, and soul. Explore some of the destinations above and start lifting your spirits. Visit some of these fantastic coastlines we have here on the Sunshine Coast.
Gold Coast destinations to brighten your life
There are many beautiful locations in Australia. The Gold Coast is blessed with stunning scenery and fun activities. There is much to see and do on the Gold Coast, including:
Theme Parks. The Gold Coast is famous for its theme parks, including Warner Bros. Movie World, Sea World, Wet’n’Wild, and Dreamworld.
Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary. An excellent place for families, this sanctuary offers a chance to see native Australian wildlife up close and participate in interactive experiences.
Tamborine Mountain. For a change of scenery, head to the hinterland and explore Tamborine Mountain’s rainforests, waterfalls, and quaint shops.
Springbrook National Park. Known for its stunning natural beauty, including waterfalls, rainforests, and the famous Natural Bridge.
Lamington National Park. Offering spectacular rainforest walks and birdwatching opportunities, it’s a bit further from the coast but well worth the visit.
Robina Town Centre. For those who love shopping, this large shopping centre offers a wide range of stores, eateries, and entertainment options.
Conclusion
Co-parenting can make Christmas time stressful. The holidays should be a time of family joy. With the right communication tools, Christmas can be full of happiness and good memories. Take advantage of the wonderful attractions South-East Queensland has to offer.
There will never be enough words to show my appreciation for the support and guidance that was shown to me from Danielle and all the team at Shanahan Family Law.
- Stacy Holmes-Brown
From the team at Shanahan Family Law, we wish you a happy and safe holiday period.
