Leaving an unhappy marriage or any unhappy relationship is a difficult choice. Some people fall for the idea that you must stay married no matter what. However, research shows that an unhappy marriage has many negative consequences. Although severing ties with a poor marriage may lead to a “happy divorce”, it doesn’t always translate to a cheerful phase for everyone involved. The ensuing strain on mental health can exact a hefty toll.
You can make a challenging time more bearable by approaching divorce healthily and calmly. This will help you find happiness sooner. A happier life is a better life. So, how can you achieve this?
Key takeaways
- During the divorce process, taking time for self-reflection and attending to your mental and emotional health is crucial.
- Reassessing your living environment and removing painful reminders of your old life can help you focus on starting anew. This can include rearranging furniture, applying a fresh coat of paint, or introducing new artwork.
- Engaging in physical activities and hobbies can improve your health, clear your mind, and provide a sense of fun.
- If you’re co-parenting, developing a civil relationship with your ex-spouse can lead to a happier post-divorce life. Family dispute resolution (FDR) services can provide a safe, unbiased space for parties to resolve their issues.
- Uncertainty can cause stress and a sense of helplessness during a divorce. Being prepared, whether having all relevant financial information on-hand for a property settlement or cooperating with the other party in parenting arrangements, can make the process more manageable and less stressful.
1. Self-care
Throughout the divorce process, you should be mindful of your well-being. It’s easy to be absorbed in negative emotions while organising property settlements and parenting arrangements and forget to take time for yourself. Take time daily for self-reflection and attend to your mental and emotional health. Doing so can help your approach to divorce. Here are some tips for managing your self-care.
Assess your environment
Living space can impact your emotional well-being during challenging times such as divorce. Here are some ways you can reassess your home environment.
Create a Personal Sanctuary
Transform your living space to reflect your individuality and preferences, which might have been compromised or set aside during the marriage. This can involve redecorating, rearranging furniture, or introducing new colours and textures. Creating a space that feels entirely yours can bolster your sense of identity and independence.
Declutter
Removing items that strongly remind you of your relationship or bring negative emotions can be therapeutic. This process of decluttering not only cleanses your physical space but can also help you let go of the past. You can then make room for new memories and experiences.
Comfort Upgrades
Investing in items that enhance comfort can make your home a more inviting and restful place. This may include new bedding, comfortable furniture, or soothing lighting. A comfortable and secure environment is crucial for emotional well-being, especially during times of stress and change.
Functional Spaces
Adjust your living space to support new routines and hobbies. For example, setting up a dedicated area for meditation, exercise, or art can encourage you to engage in activities that promote healing and personal growth. New routines can help establish a sense of normality and progress.
Community and Accessibility
Reassessing your living space might mean considering moving to a new location that better suits your circumstances. This may include being closer to family, work, or school. You might want to move to a community that aligns more closely with your lifestyle and values.
Exercise
Exercise has several positive traits. You will improve your health and fitness. But exercise can also help you psychologically. Going for a run and getting some fresh air clears your mind. It’s better to expend your energy on something positive rather than worrying about things beyond your control.
Exercise is also an excellent social activity. Getting together with friends and working out can bring much-needed fun to an otherwise trying time. That robust support system is a significant advantage in itself.
Pick up a hobby
Finding happiness in a hobby can help occupy your mind. Here are ways to maximise your well-being through hobbies and enjoy your new life.
Reconnect with Past Interests
Revisit hobbies or interests that you enjoyed before your marriage. Often, personal interests can be sidelined in the course of a relationship. Rediscovering these activities can reignite passion and joy, contributing to your sense of self.
Take Classes or Workshops
Enrol in classes or workshops to learn a new skill or hobby. This can also be a great way to meet new people who share your interests. Many community centres, libraries, and educational institutions offer courses ranging from creative arts to cooking, photography, and more.
Incorporate Nature
Australia’s natural beauty offers endless opportunities for outdoor hobbies. Consider activities like hiking, bird watching, cycling, or beachcombing. Engaging with nature can have a calming effect and provide physical exercise.
2. Stay flexible
If you’re co-parenting, you need to cooperate. An acrimonious divorce doesn’t benefit anyone, especially if kids are involved. It’s best to develop a civil relationship with your ex-spouse to get to a happy place post-divorce. This can mean using mediation and compromising.
Family dispute resolution (FDR) services are invaluable if any conflict arises. FDR provides a space for parties to work through their issues. It is unbiased and non-judgmental, so everyone feels safe expressing their concerns. FDR is mandatory before applying for court orders.
Mediation
It’s crucial to recognise that mediation is designed to facilitate communication and negotiation, not to serve as a battleground for airing grievances. The mediator’s role is to guide the discussion, help identify issues, and assist in finding mutually acceptable solutions. They won’t make decisions for you.
Collect all necessary financial documents, information about assets and debts, and any relevant information regarding your children (if applicable). Know what you want to achieve through mediation. Identify your priorities and keep reasonable expectations for possible outcomes.
Compromise
It’s crucial to be willing to compromise to keep the divorce civil and progressing smoothly. Here are some tips for practical compromise.
Understand your needs and wants
Distinguish between what you need and what you want. Needs are non-negotiables essential for your well-being or financial security. Wants are preferences that you are willing to negotiate on. Prioritising helps you understand where you can be flexible.
Understand Your Spouse’s Perspective
Try to understand your spouse’s needs, wants, and concerns. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but understanding their perspective can help you find common ground and areas where compromise is possible.
Keep the Children’s Best Interests at Heart
Children’s well-being and stability should be a top priority if they are involved. Decisions regarding custody, visitation, and support should focus on what is best for the children. This often requires compromise from both parents.
Be Open to Creative Solutions
Be creative in your negotiations. Sometimes, the best solution isn’t the most obvious one. For example, instead of selling the family home and splitting the proceeds, one spouse might keep the house in exchange for other assets of equivalent value.
Seek Professional Advice
Consult with professionals, including lawyers, financial advisors, and therapists. They can provide valuable advice on legal and financial matters. You can gain emotional support to help you make informed decisions.
Stay Patient and Flexible
The divorce process can be lengthy and challenging. Stay patient and be prepared to adjust your expectations as negotiations proceed. Flexibility can lead to more satisfactory compromises.
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Be prepared
One of the most significant sources of stress and frustration in family law matters is uncertainty. Uncertainty can cause a sense of helplessness as the process feels out of your control. To counteract this, ensure that you’re prepared.
Property settlements
If you’re going through a property settlement, have all relevant financial information on hand. For example, you should be able to produce information on bank accounts, share portfolios, debts, real estate holdings, etc. Ensure your ex-spouse fully discloses their information as well.
Parenting arrangements
If you’re organising parenting arrangements, cooperate with the other party as much as possible. You can make the process more manageable by avoiding unnecessary conflict. If you have irreconcilable differences, gather evidence to support your case. Witness statements, school reports, photos and other supporting documentation can help. Being confident in your case will make the process easier.
Let us help
Divorce is never easy. It’s essential to look after your emotional well-being during these difficult periods. Find self-care strategies that work for you.
Trying to resolve conflicts through mediation before appealing to the Court also helps. Divorce is more manageable with strategies in place to foster cooperation. If you go to Court, ensure you’re prepared to make the process as easy as possible. An experienced divorce lawyer can help guide you through those proceedings.
We’re focused on finding alternative ways to resolve family law matters at Shanahan Family Law. Call us today to see how our team can help.
If you need help with family law matters, contact us for a free discovery call.
