Ending a failing marriage or long-term relationship can be painful. Sometimes, one person doesn’t want to give up, thinking there might be ways how to save your marriage. It’s not easy to fix a marriage after splitting up, but if both people are willing, they can work through their problems and get their marriage back on track.
Key takeaways 
- Many underlying issues can lead to a marriage breakdown.
- Before attempting to reconcile, ensure you’re doing so for the right reasons.
- You may want to resolve conflicts head-on, but sometimes people need space.
- Try to understand your former partner’s feelings and ensure you’re on the same page on why the relationship is failing.
- Spend time together as friends before trying to re-enter a committed relationship.
- Participate in couples therapy to discover strategies on how to save your marriage by working through issues together.
What makes a troubled marriage?
A broken marriage occurs for many reasons. Infidelity is commonly cited as a primary cause. The betrayal of trust critically undermines a successful marriage.
Money issues also cause long-term strain on a married couple. Disagreements over finances can be corrosive and quickly lead to an unhappy marriage.
Over time, couples can also stop communicating, leading to unaddressed problems. Not working on the relationship often leads to a feeling that there is a lack of caring.
In the circumstances like an abusive relationship, finding the strength to move on for your physical and mental health is essential.
Do you want to reconcile?
It’s natural to want to reconnect with a partner after separation. However, ensuring you are reconciling for the right reasons is essential. Sometimes people can’t bear to see their former partner move on without them. They try to rekindle their relationship rather than letting them find happiness with someone else.
You may also experience loneliness, especially if you’re leaving a long-term relationship. This can cause people to want to return to a former partner. You’re perpetuating a harmful situation if those issues haven’t been resolved. In these cases, it’s important to remember that there was a reason the relationship ended.
Give your partner space
Emotions are high after a separation. People respond to these heightened situations in different ways. One response is to try to repair the relationship immediately. Usually, this involves frequent texts and calls in an attempt to reconcile. This approach typically drives former partners further away.
Reconciliation will only be possible once the initial shock of separation has worn off and you can think rationally about the best course of action. While it may be difficult, you need to give your partner space. Having room to assess the circumstances is essential for both of you.
Understand the reason for the separation
You must understand why you separated before you can start finding solutions.
- Has the relationship lost its intimacy?
- Are you no longer communicating?
- Are issues like your financial situation having an impact?
Once you establish the problems, you must understand your role. You cannot move forward if you don’t take accountability for your actions. To take responsibility, you should be prepared to apologise.
It’s often not easy to admit fault, but it’s crucial to healing a relationship. When you apologise, you must show that you understand what you did and how you will improve.
Rebuild a friendship
Don’t expect to be able to re-enter a relationship with the intimacy experienced before separation. Circumstances have changed, and your relationship must be rebuilt. There is nothing wrong with taking things slowly in the beginning.
It may seem strange to revert to friendship with someone with whom you previously built a life. However, you must relay the foundations to help you and your partner to regain the trust necessary for a successful relationship.
After this, having date nights can be exciting and instil a sense of newness in the relationship.
Undergo marriage counselling
Marriage counselling is essential once you’re both willing to explore ways to come back together. Couples counselling sessions are a neutral space free of bias and judgment where both parties can air grievances. The marriage counsellor will offer guidance and provide opportunities for you to identify the issues and develop solutions.
It’s critical to understand that a marriage therapist cannot solve your problems for you. Their role is to help each person understand where the other is coming from and find strategies that suit you both.
Marriage counselling is like any other pursuit in that you get out what you put in. If both of you are ready to fix your relationship, counselling can help you learn how to save your marriage. If you can’t meet in person, online therapy is also available.
Explore how we can further assist you on how to save your marriage
Rediscovering a healthy relationship takes time and dedication from both partners. There isn’t a single path to resolving marital problems and securing a happy marriage. But by keeping these tips in mind, you can make your relationship work.
At Shanahan Family Law, we have extensive experience working with married couples. Whether you’re considering your options post-separation or seeking professional advice on how to save your marriage, our expert family lawyers are here to help. Contact us today to set up an initial free discovery call.
The above information is intended to be general advice only and is not a substitute for personalised advice. Because it does not consider your individual circumstances, it is not intended to be relied upon and any loss or damage arising from any such reliance is disclaimed. Any financial or legal decisions should only occur after you have received tailored advice from a legal or financial professional.
